Talk of the town: the whacky names in our address book

WHEN I were a lad … or at least a young journalist driving around Britain, I kept a notebook in my glovebox.

In it, I would record odd and amusing place names for use in a future newspaper column.

Towns and villages like Nether Wallop, Great (and Little) Snoring, Giggleswick, Upper (and Lower) Slaughter, Great Cockup, and Bishop’s Itchington.

There are dozens, from Brown Willy (a hill in Cornwall), Wetwang in Yorkshire and the quite pretty Ugley, Essex – not far from Maggots End.

But the UK has plenty of competition, right here in Australia.

Place names that often reflect colonial humour, or the frustrations of early explorers.

Like Useless Loop and Misery Beach, both in Western Australia.

The Loop in Shark Bay so named because its harbour was blocked by sandbars.

Misery near Albany, once fouled by offal from a whaling station, is now regarded as one of Australia’s finest beaches.

South Australia boasts Foul Bay and Dismal Swamp, while NSW offers Linger and Die Hill… a warning to early bullock drivers.

There’s Dead Cat Gully in central western NSW, but mountains cop the most scorn.

Victoria hosts Mount Buggery and Mount Disappointment, while South Australia has Mount Hopeless.

“Knob” seems naughty but usually derives from a hill, often with ore deposits.

Like Yorkeys Knob and Quality Knobs in Queensland, plus Prominent Knob and Iron Knob in SA.

Watanobbi on the NSW Central Coast sounds like another but might be a corruption of the Japanese surname “Watanabe.”

In 2002, some local landowners attempted unsuccessfully to have the name changed to Chapman Gardens.

Tasmanians seem comfortable with Eggs and Bacon Bay, Snug, Boobs Flat, Mossy Nipple Bend, Stinkhole Bay and Pisspot Creek.

Plus, the aptly named Nowhere Else (not far from Promised Land), and The Edge of the World.

Tassie also has Doo Town, just beyond Eaglehawk Neck, where holiday shacks have names like Doo Drop In, Make Doo, and Doo-little.

And that … will Doo for now.