Inspiring others to have the courage to be seen
Executive coach, motivational speaker and author Carlii Lyon wants people to have more courage to build their self-belief and put themselves out there.
WHAT do Sir Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Aretha Franklin, Simon Cowell, and Quentin Tarantino have in common?
All dropped out of high school and went on to become rich and famous.
It’s no guarantee of success, mind you, but Australia also has an outstanding example: executive coach, motivational speaker and author Carlii Lyon.
Carlii’s first home was a caravan in front of her Nan’s house. At 15, she quit high school and became a hairdresser “to fund my party-going lifestyle.”
A few years later, a wellness retreat helped her realise there was more to life.
By 27, she was running her own PR consultancy in New York, building brands for high profile individuals, from supermodel Miranda Kerr to bestselling authors, inventors and musicians.
A great achievement – but at 35, she hit a crunch point.
Carlii was on extended maternity leave (she has two sons) and “felt invisible” without her career.
“Even though I was building the brands of these amazing individuals, I wasn’t ever thinking of my own brand,” she says.
She consulted an admired ex-colleague about an idea for rebooting her business.
They shot it down. Carliii was devastated.
“For whatever reason, I had carefully placed this person up on a pedestal of having, knowing and being more than me,” she says. “It was a recipe for disaster.
“I realised I wanted (her former colleague’s) support of the idea and, in truth, their approval of me as an extension of it.”
Her husband questioned why she let the negative feedback get to her.
“It got me thinking: why did I care so much? What was I really seeking? Then it hit me.
“For 35 years I had tried to make everyone happy. Having everyone’s approval was of paramount importance, even when it meant going against my own better judgment.”
The perceived rejection was the jolt she needed.
“Making intuitive decisions in the face of disapproval and rejection is never easy,” she says.
“But I made a promise to myself, to always follow my heart.”
Carlii introduced herself in a businesswomen’s networking group, and everything changed.
At 43, she is a celebrated speaker working with some of the world’s most iconic brands.
They include Top 50 ASX companies and global names including The Financial Times, Spotify, Warner Discovery Group, Volvo, GPT, Microsoft and L’Oréal.
She recently published a book, Courage To Be, on how to stop playing small, and start thinking big.
“I want people to have more courage to put themselves out there,” she says. “Whether that be speaking in a meeting or reaching out to make new connections.”
Carlii not only helps remarkable people worldwide but is dedicated to helping everyday folk establish a personal brand.
“It is wonderful to gain recognition, approval, love and acceptance from those around you, but when you give yourself all of these things first and foremost, you are in a real position of personal empowerment,” she says.
“I recall my good friend and mentor (behavioural scientist) Dr John Demartini, saying to me once: ‘The bigger the game you play, the more challenge you will face.’
“I think the confusion that we will often feel comes from not listening to ourselves and convincing ourselves that everyone around us knows better.”
Carlii feels self-belief could also benefit conveyancers, some perhaps suffering crises of confidence and undervaluing themselves while carrying heavy responsibility.
“As we journey towards the life we want to have and the person we want to be, we must first face our unhelpful thoughts, ideas and beliefs about ourselves.
“We must confront who we think we are, question whether our ideas work for us, then consciously decide who we want to be.”
Whether it’s a life crisis or just feeling in a rut, “think of the smallest viable step you can take that has a semblance of forward motion.
“That might be going to a networking event or reading a book or signing up to a course.
“It’s all based on asking yourself, ‘What’s one small step I can take today to move myself forward and out of that rut?’”
PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Carlii Lyon is the keynote spear at Australian Conveyancer’s What’s Next? event in Sydney in March.
